| Dealing With Difficult People--Go Ahead, Rain On My Parade
by: Althea DeBrule
Rain is vital to all life on earth, and is the main way that water from the sky fills our lakes and rivers, and provides nourishment and growth. Most of the time we do not look forward to the rain, but without it, we will most likely not be able to enjoy luscious fruits and vegetables, or experience the warm and moist feeling of green grass as it cushions our bare feet. Interpersonal conflict is like a rain shower—a small local burst of rain that lasts a short time. Rain showers are usually of light to moderate intensity and likely to start and stop suddenly. You can predict when they occur by the rapid change in the sky's appearance as they approach. The same is true of most interpersonal conflict--those small micro-bursts of anger or disagreement that seem to flare up quickly and cease just as suddenly. The aphorism rain on my parade reminds us of the unpleasantness of conflict. Yet, some unpleasant occurrences bring about better things. Conflict develops even among the finest of people. Whenever there is disagreement, a difference of opinion, a different approach, a departure from the way we do things around here, there is conflict. These little showers of light to moderate temper or anger are made to last just a short time. Yet, when we approach them the wrong way (and there is a wrong way), they can become full-blown conflict thunderstorms. Unlike ordinary rain showers, thunderstorms are rain combined with wind and lightning. They form worldwide, spit out deadly lightning, band together to form hurricanes, and can spin up the world's fastest winds inside tornadoes. Been caught in any conflict thunderstorms lately? THE REAL SECRET While we cannot control or change others, we can take responsibility for our own actions, attitudes, and behavior. So how do we respond when people want to rain on our parades? Use The U-M-B-R-E-L-L-A:
WHAT ABOUT COMMUNICATION? Wherever conflict exists, no matter what its cause or reason, communication has played a key role. Poor communication has either initiated the conflict or kept it going. Good communication will lead to a mutually agreeable solution. It promotes a give-and-take open dialogue that focuses on the problem not the emotion. We all have difficult people in our lives—you know, those folks of radically differing viewpoints who anger, exasperate, frustrate, and nearly drive us out of our minds! Difficult people tend to rain on our parades. Just when things are going well and we’re marching in the success procession, a short but violent conflict shower or thunderstorm will often break out. An instinctive response is usually not the best one because we are caught unawares. So we reply back with a storm of our own, and before you know it, a deluge accompanied by hurricane force winds floods our relationships and ruins our parades. IN THE END, YOU MATTER… You are responsible for deciding how you will respond to conflict and difficult people. The U-M-B-R-E-L-L-A along with good communication will ensure that you don’t get wet! About the Author Althea DeBrule, entrepreneur & seasoned human resources executive, has helped people achieve their career goals for more than 30 years. She is recognized for her bottom line and practical application of career transition & development strategies in a way that compels action. To discover how Althea can help you take your career to a new level, visit http://www.extreme-career-makeover.com/ |
