One of my customers recently told me she had to close down her business due to an illness. Another closed his business because he wasn't making enough money. A friend was stunned when her husband told her he wanted a divorce.
One of my customers recently told me she had to close down her business due to an illness. Another closed his business because he wasn't making enough money. A friend was stunned when her husband told her he wanted a divorce.

Each of us faces different life challenges. Loss of a loved one, lack of success in a job, lack of success in reaching a goal. We can experience downward spirals in our lives, unanticipated, and we are unprepared. Maybe some could be averted, others could not.

How much control do you have over your life?

Control is a funny thing. It’s as if we seek it but, at the same time, find ways to sabotage the chance to have the control we could have in our lives.

Some people think they can control end results, outcomes. I don’t think so.

I think you control the actions you take to get there. But you don’t control other variables that come into play. The universe has it’s own way of working...

Writers from William James to Stephen Covey to Brian Tracy to mention a few, are all addressing this key point in one way or another: You control your actions, not the outcomes. It does help if you know enough about universal principles because that helps you decide on better actions.

But back to control. Think of control on these 3 levels:

Level 1: Direct Control. All you really have direct control over is your thoughts,your feelings, your actions. Nothing else. You may 'want' to have direct control over your children but once they become a certain age, you are in the indirect control level. You do not have direct control over other people. They have direct control over themselves. If you think otherwise, you may be behaving in a way that makes others feel you’re ‘controlling’.

Level 2: Indirect Control. This level is the same as 'influence'. You may be able to influence your boss, customers, spouse, children but you truly do not control what they will do. Only they control that.

Do your best to influence them for the right reasons. Then let it go. Adjust or adapt to the result so that you can have peace of mind.

Level 3: No Control. This is the level over which you have almost no influence and in many cases, none at all. People ‘moan and groan’ about events at this level: how the president of their company isn’t making the right decisions or how the president of their country isn’t, for example.

But why be miserable about things over which you have no control? If you feel you can influence a key figure to take action, then make a call or write that letter. Then let it go.

Clearly, focusing your energy first on Level 1 is most effective because you have 100% control over your thoughts, feelings, and actions. That’s 100% control that you have! Make the most of it every day.

About the Author

Joann Javons is a consultant and coach with a passion for helping people be all they can be. She is the owner of http://www.AttractClients.com, http://www.private-practice-marketing.com, and http://www.peoplepoems.com